SPORTS

The 2006 Bobblies - Starting a Newsvine Tradition

12/6/2006

Crack open your favorite nuts (ours are Brazilian) and pour yourself a tall beverage (preferably something bubbly). Now get set for the only awards show on the planet where the trophies jiggle and all the winners are guaranteed to not test positive



Crack open your favorite nuts (ours are Brazilian) and pour yourself a tall beverage (preferably something bubbly). Now get set for the only awards show on the planet where the trophies jiggle and all the winners are guaranteed to not test positive for sucki ness.



SPORTS MOVIE- TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY

Will Ferrell will snap every funny bone in your body in this rip-snorting NASCAR send-up. And if Ferrell full throttle as a pea-brained, cougar taming pedal-masher with a bizarre pre-occupation with the baby Jesus fails to turn your crank, then Sacha Baron Cohen’s (Ali G) portrayal of snooty gay French Formula “Un” driver Jean Girrard will certainly loosen a few lugnuts. While pushing 200 mph Girrard pricelessly puffs on Gitanes, sips on macchiatos and thumbs through Camus’ The Stranger all while managing to keep the hard charging competition in his rearview. Girrard also delivers the flick’s wittiest lines like this proposal to Bobby: “God needs the Devil. The Beatles needed The Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric?” Sure it’s an unapologetic sophomoric romp from the opening credits to the checkered flag without even a drip of brain tingling gravitas but it holds up with the best the canon has to offer. Talladega Nights could go three-wide with genre pillars Caddyshack and Slapshot any day.

BEST TEAM: Carolina Hurricanes

In 05-06, Hockey Night in Carolina was transformed from an offbeat curiosity that perked public interest as much as an okra eating contest into a prime-time sports ticket. Fueled by a relentless attack and the ability to always kick it up into third gear when the stakes were highest, the Canes stormed to second place in the Eastern Conference racking up 52 wins and finishing just one point shy of the Senators. In the playoffs when backstop Martin Gerber started to turn into a sieve, fledgling 22-year-old back-up Cam Ward stepped into the line of fire and proved as solid as a wall of concrete behind the pipes. Ward’s spectacular puck deflecting performances earned him the #1 spot and gave the Canes’ forwards the piece of mind they needed behind their blue line to go out and play their game. "I got to raise the Cup because of that kid," said team Captain Rod Brind’Amour of their Conn Smyth winning keeper. "He just played awesome. He never made it look like there was a panic situation."

BIGGEST BREAKTHROUGH CINDY KLASSEN

Getting rid of her stick but sticking with the blades turned out to be a very wise decision for Cindy Klassen. The Winnipegger gave up hockey after failing to make the cut of the 1998 Women’s National team. She decided to concentrate strictly on her skating. The move paid off spectacular dividends. The queen of the frozen oval, Klassen currently holds the world record in the 1,000 m, the 1,500 m, and the 3,000 m speed skating disciplines. At the Winter Olympics in Turin last February Klassen first made headlines when news got out that she had asked not to be nominated to carry the Canadian flag at the opening ceremonies so that she could focus on her events. This also turned out to be a wise decision. Klassen outclassed the competition to the tune of five podium finishes. Her gold, two silvers and two bronzes gave Klassen the largest medal haul ever collected by a Canadian in a single Olympics. Klassen, who won a lone bronze at the Salt Lake City Olympics also carries the distinction of being the most decorated Canadian Olympian.

BIGGEST BLOW-UP THE HEADBUTT: Zinedine Zidane

With the score deadlocked at one apiece and with extra time winding down, French soccer superstar Zinedine Zidane lost control. Spurred by some smack talk he thrust his skull into Italian Marco Materazzi’s chest bringing the defender down onto the pitch. The referee drew a red card from his pocket sending Zidane packing and in his absence Italy went on to win the World Cup minutes later in a penalty shootout 5-3. So what was the taunt that precipitated the headbutt that will go down in sporting infamy alongside Mike Tyson’s mid-fight ear lobe snack and Todd Bertuzzi’s vicious vertebrae crunching body check from behind? “I was tugging his shirt. He said to me 'if you want my shirt so much I'll give it to you afterwards,' I answered that I'd prefer his sister," Italian defender Marco Materazzi eventually confessed and he was hit up with a 2,500 pound fine for his role in the incident.

BIGGEST TURNAROUND: TIGER WOODS

After his father succumbed to prostate cancer in May, Tiger was devastated by the loss and took a nine-week break from the links. When he returned to face the PGA’s best at the U.S. Open, Tiger’s killer instinct wasn’t there. Woods missed the cut in a major for the first time in his career as a pro. In honor of his father Tiger rededicated himself to his sport and by the British Open he had regained peak form and risen his iron game to a new level. Most importantly Tiger became firm in the belief that he could contend in every tournament he entered. Not only did Woods win the last two majors of the year but he continued his hot streak, sizzling to six consecutive PGA Tour victories. At press time Tiger’s victory rate in tournaments entered is 53.3%. In a sport where winning 5% of PGA tournaments would net you a tidy seven-figure sum, Woods’ number is off the charts. Winning percentage isn’t even normally tallied in golf so now the PGA is having to invent new statistical categories just to quantify Tiger’s awesome achievements.

This Article First Ran in the December issue of Bell T.V. Magazine


Copyright © Mike Dojc 2006

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